 |
| SPEAKEASILY IS: Your new favorite nouveau-vaudeville traveling flea-circus at rock-bottom prices. Contact Odessa Lil to bring SpeakEasily to your club, party, team-building exercise, or black mass. To Join Our Mailing List/Contact MySpace Press Photos Our Performers Meet Our METER DANCERS The Merchandising! WHO THE HELL IS ODESSA LIL ANYWAY?! Little is known about the one they call Odessa Lil, besides the now famous fragmented and possibly apocryphal tale involving a mule, a shoehorn, and the Fresno State Glee Club. Much has been said about her penchant for fast horse carts and slow men, but really only a few cultural relics referencing this small, noisy person remain: Occupation: Mistress of Ceremonies, shtetl goddess Location: San Francisco, CA Hometown: the world was once my oyster sauce Interests: Metaphysics -- ever since I discovered that my aura was a chalk outline. Affiliations: I would never join a club that would have me as a member Companies: The Mile High Club, SpeakEasily Schools: Madam Blavatsky's Theosophical Scociety, The Palmistry Academy of Budapest, College of Thelema, Tarot University of Ukraine, Breitbart School of Strength, Comedy Traffic School. Favorite Movies:Those Lumiere brothers are up to some good things I hear. About Me: I was born at a very early age in a one-horse village beyond the Pale. It used to be a two-horse village, until we ate one. My father made a meager living selling meagers, but my mother made good dough working at the bakery. At the tender age of 14, I was run over by a funeral cart carrying the body of Kaiser Wilhelm. His spirit entered my body upon impact, making me capable of a great many things. I'll show you the scar if you give me a dollar. Who I Want to Meet: Those hiring for weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, funerals, divorce proceedings, difficult labors, séances, and SpeakEasilys. Oh, and I need a man I can ride around like a horse. Please contact me ASAP. EXHIBIT C. Interview with Laurel Weltman, S.F. Weekly March 3, 1999. |
 |
 |
| Photo by Smokey. |
| Can you imagine the shock of it all when I, Laurie Weltman, was granted an interview with Odessa Lil, that elusively elegant femme fatale who's got the entire left Bay talking. Rising from her humble beginnings as a lint weaver from beyond the Pale, Ms. Lil came to America to make a living as an Oriental Massage therapist. Her true dream however was to hit it big in the Mistress of Ceremony scene. Luckily for her and all of us too, Ms. Lil had her big break last month after her fiancé plunged to his death from the AltGeld clock tower. While being interviewed on Channel 4 News about her fiancé's death, she performed a song she spontaneously composed about the incident. Since her debut on Channel 4, she has been hounded for record deals from all the top producers and has collaborated with some of the top names in the business, such as Elton John and Heino. |
| We conducted the interview in her minimally decorated live/work space in the fashionable Temescal district of Oakland. After she poured us both a healthy glass of goat milk, I had to ask her how she felt about the recent suicide of her fiancé. Tossing her head back, she drawled in her discontinuous accent, "Men, can't live with them, can't skin them and make expensive hand bags out of them." She took a drag from her cigarette, blowing a smoke figure eight, which morphed into a map of Tunisia and then morphed again into the figure of Ulysses S. Grant before disintegrating into thin air. Wow, what a woman. Don't miss her tonight as she performs with Austrian Trip-Hop mix-maestros Waldheim and Dorfmeister, with special guest Shelly Winters at the Hilton's Velvet Room. |
| Photo by Pat McCarthy. |
| How cute...our first flyer! |
 |
 |
| 01/28/08: SpeakEasily Reunion AGAIN! Thanks to Kingfish, Eddie, and the Hubba Hubba Review at the Uptown, the SpeakEasily gang is getting back together!! Today Oakland, tomorrow the world. |
| NEWS: |